Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Gift of Life - Keily J. Adey

Summary:  Through multiple miscarriages, infertility and the possibility of giving birth to a child with special needs, Keily J. Adey and her husband Paul, struggle to create the family that they have always wanted.

Her diary, a personal and graphic account of their life; the indignity and dismay of public heartache and medical examinations are an insight into how age, past medical history and money can all affect a strong relationship and the prospect of ever becoming a family.  (Book given free for review, summary from back of the book, and image from

My Review:  This is such a touchy subject.  One that I won't even pretend to fully understand.  Thankfully, Keily's experience has a happy ending.  That is not the experience of all who must take this road.  If you're needing a book to give you hope, this might be the one.  If you're looking for someone who also struggled to create a family, this might be it.  If you're looking for a realistic version of how sometimes you don't get what you fight for, this will probably just depress or anger you.  I only write that disclaimer because I have several friends where the outcome wasn't the same, the decision as to what to do next had to be different, and sometimes hearing someone else get what they wanted all along would be too much to read.

Conceiving and/or carrying a child is such a fascinating experience--whether it happens magically quick or takes years.  What I love about this portrayal is how Keily embodied everything it means to really yearn for a child, to create a family.  She was willing to do whatever it might take to have that child--and you get to see just what that means.  It is no easy process.  Having a child, whether through IVF or not, is no cakewalk.  Add to it the IVF scenario and it gets so much harder.  Dignity is checked at the door.  Humility is required full force.  And Keily does this with grace.  It was so heartwarming, in this day and age when we see many educated couples choose the DINK (Dual Income No Kids) lifestyle, to see a husband and wife desire so earnestly for the joy of a family.  Sometimes I feel we are a rarity--those of us who cherish our families, our children.  I found comfort in that aspect.

I'm afraid to say that the writing is poor.  Run-ons, comma splices, bad grammar, sadly, the list goes on.  That's not to say the message is lost.  And if there's something to be said about grammar and conventions, it's this:  it aids the story, but cannot destroy it completely.  Could this book be that much stronger with a better editor and writing?  Definitely.  Would I still recommend this book to friends regardless? You bet.  I did enjoy the subtle differences in dialect and word choice--Keily is from England.  (Nappies.  What a great word.)  Keily makes this experience real and personal.  It's worth the read.

For the sensitive reader:  Swear words thrown in, discussion of sex, but mostly in relation to how it becomes drudgery when dealing with infertility.

Rating: 3 stars

Sum it up: One couple's journey through infertility, miscarriage, and finally birth.

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